On Life Coaching And Being Under 30
I threw out a tweet the other day where I said the following:
If you’re under 30 and offering life coaching, stop. You haven’t lived long enough to coach others.
Some responses were positive and some were not negative so much as they were concerned about what it was I was saying. For instance, Tyler Braun tweeted back at me:
Is age the main determinant for when someone has enough knowledge/experience/wisdom to coach others? I hope not.
Joel Klampert responded with this tweet:
me @ 25: married 5 years. 1 kid. PK MK. Lived in 3 states. Missionary in Ukraine. Worship pastor. Designer. Sales rep
And then followed up with this one:
me at 34. Same as 25. Now 14 years married and 4 kids. And 200 new things god has done.
And ended with this one:
both at 25 and 34 I think god has used me to lifecoach others based on where I was in my life.
First of all, let me say that my comment was no a reflection of age being a factor in determining whether or not somebody can coach somebody else. But life coaching (and the example I saw) is built around this platform of coaching people on areas of life related to parenting, careers, spirituality and other aspects from a person who had hardly an experience in these areas. And the fact is, most people under 30 don’t. They especially don’t have the kind of life knowledge to request people pay them $300 a month for the benefit of their wisdom. Trust me when I tell you that life between 30 and 40 is drastically different than it is between 20 and 30.
That being said, I am a big supporter of the millennial generation because they are this country’s next set of leaders and all of these people have a lot to offer. All are under the age of 30 (I know I have learned from them despite our age difference):
Kyle Reed – I got to know Kyle through Twitter, met him at Catalyst in 2010 and then got to hang with him a little again in Nashville this past January. It would be nearly impossible to not like Kyle. There is a genuinely warm spirit about him that comes out when you spend a little time with him. He’s a designer and really has his finger on the pulse of social media.
Tyler Braun – I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting Tyler in person (yet) but I am familiar with him through his blog and through Twitter. Despite his awful taste in sports teams, Tyler is a young man that is wise beyond his years. He’s a husband and a worship leader.
Tom and Meghan McFarlin – I got to meet Tom and his lovely wife Meghan in Atlanta when I was up there visiting some other friends and then again during Catalyst. When I originally connected with Tom on Twitter, I actually thought he was older than he is largely because his knowledge of pop culture and music ran pretty deep. When I first got to hang out with them, I thought my face was going to fall off we spent so much time laughing. Tom is a developer and I really miss the blog posts he used to write about what he learned at church that week. Meghan is like a ray of sunshine. She’s becoming quite the photographer and though I kid her often on Twitter about Tom, she doesn’t get mad at me. Tom and Meghan are also expecting their first child.
Jared and Eryn Erickson – If there was a picture that defined Christian hipster cuteness, this couple would be it. Haha! But really, they’re both artists to the core using the gifts God has given them in an amazing way. Eryn is a great singer and Jared a kick but designer. Jared cracks me up because his web based self portraits always have him making some kind of face or scowling but in person he’s almost always laughing. When I traveled to Nashville earlier this year, I asked if I could stay at their place overnight so I wouldn’t have to drive straight through and without hesitation they welcomed me into their home. Next time I see Jared I am going to give him a Godsmack CD.
Darren and Crystal Libby – if Darren, Crystal, Jared and Eryn ever got together some amazing things could probably happen. Darren used to be an assistant worship pastor at our church before he moved back to North Carolina to marry Crystal. Thankfully, they make routine trips back to this area so we get to see them a couple of times per year. Crystal is an artist as is Darren. Both of them can sing and I never had more fun worshipping at church than I did when I was on stage with Darren. If there was anybody that missed Darren the most it was my son who was getting guitar lessons from Darren and really having fun doing it too.
Chris Fenner & Julia Purcell – This is another couple (who will be married one day!) that I’ve only come to know recently via Twitter. We share similar passions. Julia is a photographer and Chris a film maker and a damned good one. He and I have spoken and while I won’t give details here, we’ve both been anxiously awaiting news from somebody to see if the two of us can work together on a project. I had also exchanged some emails with Julia where she was introduced to the realities of pricing her work. With the kind of client that has a long list of demands and wants to do it at the cheapest of prices. I really look forward to what they’re going to be doing in the future.
If these are the kind of people who are going to be leading this country in the next 10 to 15 years, then the rest of us are in good hands.
I don’t apologize for my tweet but I guess it was missing some context and thus this blog post.
Thoughts are welcome.
WOW man, too honored. And I have to agree about Jared and Eryn, dang they are a AWESOME couple!
Think my prayed for all of us under 30 people, is stay faithful, stay humble, stay hustling, realize the wisdom that the older generation have, (Thats why Julia emails you, BTW 
and strive for the words “Well done , good and faithful servant”…. Again, honred by the kind words, thank you.
and learn to spell… lol.. *prayer and *honored
You rock dude. Gonna give you a big bear hug when I meet you for the first time.
haha.. DONE IS DONE… good thing im a hugger. lol
I’m 29 & I saw the tweet this morning. But I would agree with you that some haven’t had many experiences. Coaching for sure takes experience.
Michael, you are doing one of the hardest things in ministry and that is pastoring a church. Stepping out in faith that way is something I truly admire.
Good post Jay, thanks for clarifying some of your thoughts. I actually agree with you, I know at 26 that I don’t feel capable of helping someone older than me. Usually when I step up to give advice its because someone older than 30 has failed to do so.
Thanks Tyler. It was your response that got me thinking about it and then when Joel responded I felt it was time for me to address my thoughts with more than 140 characters.
Thank you for the encouragement! I’ve lead a Discipleship group since I was 17, but I would never ask someone to pay me for my knowledge! My goal is to love on girls and be there for them whenever they need a friend and a mentor. However, I know that I will always need a mentor: Someone who’s lived through more struggles than me and speaks hard truth into my life. That someone can be my sister-in-law who’s 25 or my mom (Who’s one of my very best friends) who’s a little older than that.
I do know that, from my experience, my 19 year old friend is more likely to trust and listen to me than a 50 yr old woman, and that relationship then becomes invaluable. I totally understand where you were coming from, though. I have no qualifications to be a counselor, but ever qualification to be an honest friend who’s had my fair share of a history.
yea… Julia’s my girlfriend
*one proud guy*
Julia, I read a blog post you had written where you wrote the words, “What’s also really cool is in Leviticus 2:1…” I thought, “Wow! Here’s a 20-something talking about the coolness of a book like Leviticus!” I loved your thoughts on Leviticus and how it tied into the book of John. I saw from the letter your Dad wrote to you on your 21st b-day and it’s obvious your parents have had a major impact in your life. I somewhat envy that because I wasn’t brought up in that kind of environment. I can only hope to raise up my own kids in such a way that 10 years from now somebody my age is saying positive things about them.
Thanks!
Good stuff, Jay.
I’m in my mid-thirties now, but I remember the guy I was a decade ago. In a lot of ways I thought I had it all together then, but now it’s easy to see just how much I didn’t understand about being a good husband, father and friend.
I still don’t have it all together, but my hope is that somehow I can share the things I have learned with the ones who are a decade or so behind me. I just hope that their attitude is better than mine was then, and that they actually listen.
In a lot of ways, I’m still dealing with the results of my ignorance, and it’s a whole lot easier to prevent something than it is to fix it later.